Take a poll of random people and ask them if they will
attend, or attended their high school 10 year reunion and odds are the data
likely will be polarized. On one end responses
might come back like the following: “why
would I go to my 10 year? Isn’t that
what Facebook is for?” “I haven’t talked
to any high school friends in years; there’s probably a reason for it.” “Why would I want to see people who made my
youth so awful?” “What’s the
point?” “I don’t feel like I need to go
and see people and prove myself, or feel judged by such a forced fake setting.” On the other end some responses might come
back like this: “I haven’t seen these
people in years, and we just lost touch, I can’t wait to reconnect with people.” “Yea, it’ll be cool to see people, catch up,
and see how people have changed.” “Yea,
I’ll go, it’ll be cool to show people how I’ve changed or have grown.” Speaking personally, I fell on the latter end
of the spectrum as I attended my own high school 10 year reunion just last
month.
After a false start to my ten year back in August, I
attended (and convinced my high school best friend to tag along) a makeshift
and somewhat spontaneous happy hour organized by the class president in placement
of the postponed reunion. Walking into
our high school’s small town El Torito I was met with a couple of hand fulls of
familiar faces – now just a little more adult looking. A pocket of former jocks; some ASB kiddos;
and mustn’t forget my high school click – some bandos! The casual setting was decent. A couple drinks, some chips and guacamole,
and defiantly got to chat with old friends, acquaintances, and even some of the
cool kids I never did back in the day.
As the afternoon was winding down, and classmates were bowing out, I
approached the class president and offered to help with the now postponed reunion. Without getting into details, there was too
much of the responsibility on her plate, and I wanted the reunion to happen
just as much as anyone else – so by some impulsive decision on my part I found
my sleeves pulled up in weekly meetings and a steady stream of committee tasks
for the next two months.
As the anticipation built for this highly anticipated
reunion, so did mine – as well as my stress.
Make no mistake, I was happy and actually enjoyed being part of putting
the night together, but there were definitely moments where I thought I bit off
more than I could chew. Sleep deprived
nights, tons of emails, plenty of meetings, and errands later the night had
finally arrived – and for the first time I thought to myself: ah, this is the part where I can relax. And at that moment I finally felt excited
– it was the first time I could be
excited. Up until that point my nose was
to the ground, and I had my alter ego coach side screaming at me yelling “GO!
GO! GO!” Finally, everything was done:
contract was finalized with Dave and Busters; centerpieces were made, being
placed and spruced up; question sheets and bingo cards were printed and set
out; slideshow; videographer; prizes; DJ; photobooth; check, check and check! The ladies on the committee, as well as
myself, could finally take a sigh of relief.
The night was finally here, and we – along with our arriving classmates
– could finally enjoy this moment!
And what a slew of moments that night was! There was so much that made my reunion
incredible, and as much as I’d love to dish out a play by play of the night, I
also know I don’t want to lose readership.
Taken a minuet to define the night I’d wrap it up in a few similar
sentiments: meeting people all over again; second first impressions;
expectations shattered; in essence – people redefined! Not just my classmates redefined – but myself
as well! And yes, it was quite a
parttayyy!
With a photobooth, class elections, bingo cards as an
ice-breaker, our videographer interviewing people with fun and potentially
funny questions from high school, a DJ with a dance floor, plenty of food and
drinks all around the night had something for everyone. The night had a natural ease to it, and even
half way through people’s dance moves were finally being dusted off – thanks to
one of our animated classmates who became our unofficial M.C. All jokes aside, there was also plenty of
mingling and a genuine nature among classmates.
Taken a general consensus – people had a great time!
This whole experience – at least for me – was very serial. You see coming from someone who was just a
bit of a wallflower in high school it was pretty ironic, that I, one: attended,
and two: that I was actually on the planning committee for the reunion. Alright, maybe it’s not too farfetched that I
attended, but that latter of that statement is kind of a bombshell. Seriously, I would’ve been the last person
you’d peg to be part of the planning for my high school’s 10 year.
The high school experience I had was neither delightful nor
dreadful – it lay somewhere in between.
I was neither the socialite, nor the target nerd. Honesty, I was a bit of a wallflower, who –
like many – struggled with self-esteem and confidence, which had a lot to do
with being raised in a very sheltered environment, and being on the chubbier
side. Where I’d hear, watch and envy
peers who had effortless confidence, as they strutted across campus and
approach and talk to anyone they wanted – jock or cheerleader – I kept to
myself. House parties were not in my
vocabulary till I hit collage; contrary to the cattiness of most adolescent
girls (just watch Mean Girls) I backed down from any drama; and the delicate
art of flirtation that is rampant in high school I was totally ill-equipped
for!
This isn’t to say I didn’t have a decent time in high
school. Yes I had my band friends –
fondly referred to as bandos. And yes, I
had a mishmash of rag tag friends from other clicks: drama, hipster, choir,
gamers, and surely I’m missing some.
Dances – I went to my fair share of ‘em, but always with a “friend”
(seriously had no game in high school – which I can chuckle at now). Football games – only went because I had to
perform at the half time show with colorguard, band and drumline.
Colorguard was my safe place and where I spent most of my
time in high school. This was where I
channeled much of my adolescent strifes, through the aggression you need for
the equipment work, as well as some expression in the movement below the flying
objects. It was a place that was safe
for me; a place I loved; a place I found a bit of myself – really and very
therapeutic! Matter of fact one good
friend of mine – who shared the leadership role with me of captain and
co-captain senior year – couldn’t make it to the reunion. Truth be told, I missed having her there at
the reunion. But I digress.
So 10 years of life after graduation I wasn’t the girl I was
in high school that greeted people at the door.
Truth be told it was a really remarkable, and quite a flattering experience
to have multiple people make mention of it.
Aside from just having the confidence that night I lacked in high school,
as one of the committee members who hosted of the evening, there was a deeper
initiative in me to make my rounds with everyone (not just lost connections of
friends) but yes even the cool kids I never had the nerve to talk to on campus. Was there a tinge of hesitation? Nope! Genuinely, I wanted to say hello, and ask how
they’ve been. The return was always
received well and actually with open arms.
No more high school fake façades – just adults with a shared youth
experience. Being received by my former
peers in such a positive way – who I envied and was too shy and intimidated by
to approach years ago – was such a gratifying feeling.
To have one of our valedictorians who was one of those
all-around guys approach me immediately as he arrives to spill how much he’s envied
me for years came as a bit of a shock to me. When asked why he lists off my marathon runs,
travels and writings as things he’s always wanted to do – my heart glowed with
grateful flattery. Really what an authentically
sweet thing to say! Make no mistake,
this is not said with vindication or even a feeling of revenge – but rather a
feeling that yes I have grown up, but more so grew that confidence. And as much as my old friends and peers were
happy and proud of my accomplishments, so too I was for them and theirs! There was a genuine reciprocation. Was it wonderful to have classmates
complement me – yes, I won’t lie about that.
Was it a treat to reconnect with old friends – indeed it was, and I look
forward to what that’ll look like. Was it
neat to exchange numbers with some of the cool kids, with a mutual respect and express
a wish to connect after this evening affair – totally! Reminds me of a conversation; as I’m talking
to our class elected “most clueless” from senior year (who’s now in a PhD
program studying medical physics – talk about ironic!) we connect mostly on the
topic of travel as conversation flows easily.
I make fun of the fact that we never talked or associated in high
school, as he chuckles in agreement he says to me: “Barbara, you’re really cool, how come we weren’t friends in high
school?” “Simple, I was really shy in
high school, and you were kind of one of the cool kids.” We laugh at the reality of the past, and
agree that we should definitely connect the next time he’s off from PhD
studies.
Above all the smiling faces and
laughs I encountered I am most appreciative of the time I got to spend on the
planning committee – really it’s something I am proud of. As stressful, and at times ridiculous, it was
(ladies on the committee know what I’m talking about), I was able to connect
with my best friend from high school, as well as really get to know the other
two ladies on the committee – again, who I didn’t really talk to or associate
with while in my adolescents. That time
together, is especially valuable to me because the four of us had time longer
than 5 hour reunion span to connect.
There was more reminiscing, more catching up, and more respect built for
each other. Aside from my obvious high
school best friend, I can say with confidence I earned two new friends. Cheesy sounding – but how cool!
Now a month later, looking in the rear view mirror of the
reunion there is still a genuine high of all the old friends I reconnected with,
and all the second first impressions I had.
High school is such a fascinating time.
It’s a time that can be so full of life and possibilities, but truth be
told, it can also be a battle field.
Regardless, it’s a pivotal time shared for four years with a slew of personalities
– and with fake facades, raging and changing hormones, as well as the status
quo in the way, it’s almost impossible to see people for who they really are. Maybe that’s why these reunions exist. Given time and space to live and grow outside
of the high school bubble really offers people a chance to meet again without
all the (excuse my French) bullshit getting in the way.
Check out the video from the night here. And if you enjoy that check out Rob's website for any event you need filming for!
http://www.bigbotproductions.com/
http://www.bigbotproductions.com/
